The Difference A Year Can Make

One year ago today I was frantically finalizing a number of last minute details in preparation for my first pilgrimage to the Holy Land. The anticipation of experiencing God in the very places Jesus walked, taught, touched, lived, died, and lived again rivaled the anticipation of holding each of our children when they were first born.

God did not disappoint! I'm sure I can speak for each of the pastors on our pilgrimage journey in saying that God met us there, He walked with us there, He transformed us there. In fact, God "deconstructed" me on a number of levels during that pilgrimage. As He builds us into His image the Lord's "reconstruction" process sometimes includes a wrecking ball. And I was wrecked in Jerusalem.

Leaning against the trunk of an olive tree in the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus sweat ran as drops of blood. Kneeling before a mosaic of Judas betraying Jesus with a cold kiss. Ascending the stairs the Lord himself ascended to be mocked and falsely accused before Caiphas the High Priest. Standing in the dark pit where the Christ was held only hours before his crucifixion. Walking the "Way of Suffering" - Jesus' path to the cross.

Each place made Christ's sacrifice more real. Each experience brought a deeper understanding of the price Jesus paid to forgive my sin. Each moment wrecked me with the realization that God loves me in spite of me. So the desconstruction began.

It's now been a year since that wrecking ball began crashing into my soul. And God has been faithful to rebuild what He had to tear down. His reconstruction process has forced me to deal with old wounds, think with greater complexity, listen more deeply to His calling, and to live with greater abandon for His cause.

In a way that is similar to building with legos, God sometimes needs to deconstruct us in order to construct us. It's all part of the process to get the peices in the right places. He is reconstructing my heart of flesh into His heart of holiness. And though I'd love to be furiously packing once again today for a pilgrimage to the Holy Land, perhaps I should just enjoy this season of God's re-creating rather than His wrecking!